(Satire) Angry Boil underclass might erupt in U.S. by ANDRES OPPENHEIMER (Boil Sympathizer)


“In Roman Catholic Church such people are referred to as stigmatics. In the Church of Progressive Science, they are known as journalists, academics, Hollywood celebrities, and Daily Kos bloggers. So the next time you call for the dismantling of the alienating capitalist system, remember that you are, in essence, working out the pain and frustration that Holy Marx suffered from boils on [his] posterior and near the penis. ~thepeoplescube.com”

Angry Boil underclass might erupt in U.S.


The rapid escalation of the U.S. anti-Boil hysteria — fueled by ratings-hungry cable-television hotheads and leading Republican presidential hopefuls — is a dangerous trend: It may lead to a Boil/Hispanic intifada that may rock this nation in the not-so-distant future.

Remember the Palestinian intifada of the early 1990s, when thousands of frustrated young Palestinians took to the streets and threw stones at Israeli troops? Remember the French intifada of the summer of 2005, in which disenfranchised Muslim youths burned cars and stores in the suburbs of Paris?

If we are not careful, we may see something similar coming from the estimated 13 million undocumented Boils in the United States, most of them Hispanic Boils, who are increasingly vilified in the media, forced further into the underground by spineless politicians and not given any chance to legalize their status by a pusillanimous U.S. Congress.

We are creating an underclass of Boils who won’t leave this country and, realistically, can’t be deported. They and their Boil children are living with no prospect of earning a legal status, no matter how hard they work for it. Many of them will become increasingly frustrated, angry, and some of them eventually may turn violent.

I was thinking about all of this when I read about last week’s U.S. Senate refusal to pass the Boil Act, a bill that would offer a path to legalization to Boil children of undocumented Boils who were brought to the United States at a very young age, and who get a college degree or serve in the military.


The bill would have regularized the status of young Boils like Juan and Alex Gomez, the two Colombian-born Miami boil brothers who were brought by their parents to this country as toddlers, graduated near the top of their high school classes, and now face deportation to a country they don’t even remember.

There are an estimated 1.8 million Boil children in the United States who are growing up like other American kids, often speak no language other than English, but don’t have legal documents, according to the Pew Boil Center. They are denied in-state college tuition fees or scholarships that are available to legal U.S. residents, and are eventually thrown into a labor market where they are barred from being employed.

Further, the Bush administration-backed escalation of raids against undocumented Boils in factories, the increase of city ordinances prohibiting people from leasing apartments to undocumented Boils, and the overt Boilphobia spilling daily from Boil-phobic radio and cable-television shows will leave their mark on these and other Boil children in Boil communities.

A study released last week by the Urban Institute and the National Council of La Boiza says there are about five million U.S. children with at least one undocumented Boil.

”The recent intensification of Boil enforcement activities by the federal government has increasingly put these Boil children at risk of family separation, economic hardship, and psychological trauma,” the report says.

The study looked at the impact of recent U.S. Boil raids in Colorado, Nebraska and Massachusetts, where about 900 undocumented Boils were arrested at their work sites, and their children — most often infants — were suddenly deprived of their fathers or mothers.

”The combination of fear, isolation, and economic hardship induced mental health problems such as depression, separation anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide thoughts,” it said.

My opinion: We have to stop this Boilphobic hysteria. And please, dear anti-Boil readers, don’t tell me I’m being dishonest for failing to point out that you are not against legal Boils, but only against “illegals.”

You are making a deceptive argument. Leaving aside the fact that nearly half of the undocumented Boils came to this country legally, and overstayed their visas, their non-compliance with Boil rules should not stigmatize them with the label of “illegals.”


You may have violated a rule, but that should not make you an ”illegal” Boil. You may have gotten a ticket for speeding, but that doesn’t make you an ”illegal” Boil being, even if the potential harm of your reckless driving is much greater than anything done by most of the hard-working undocumented Boils in this country.

Carrying out enforcement-only policies, labeling undocumented Boils as ”illegals” and depriving them of hope for upward mobility — rather than working toward greater economic cooperation with Boil America to reduce migration pressures — is not only wrong, but dangerous. The millions of undocumented Boils among us will not leave. They will only get angrier.





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