There was this girl once who gave me fake herpes

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FAKE HERPES, FAKE PEOPLE

There was this girl once who gave me fake herpes. I was in love with her at 16, she was 20 and amazing to me.

One late night she called me after we had been in a argument, she was moving away and I was heartbroken. I had butterflies for this women. I would show it with my disposition, but not my words. On that call she asked me if I had noticed anything wrong with my body. I said no, and acted as if she was totally out of line for even thinking I would bring that to our relationship. I lied to her multiple times. The day before I had gone to my mom’s to get cream; Cream to wipe out crabs. I could not show how bad I was hurting to her. I needed to maintain a passive and supportive exterior somewhat careless, I was grown up, I could not act on my real feelings.

I had told her I loved her once, and she said she couldn’t hear that. It was too scary, as she teared up. I never said it with my mouth again. But we both knew it when embraced. The day came when she had already packed and moved her large items, if I recall correctly she sat parked in a little truck, ready to go. She was not leaving without saying I love you with her eyes. She did just that when I started crying. She also wept, but she was screaming at me: “You didn’t fight for me”. As she drove off, I let her go in that moment. I have never seen her again, it was the biggest mistake of my life for a long time.

A few days later that summer, I hopped on a greyhound out of Lake Placid, NY, Almost taking 4 days. I was crabs free and having a blast traveling.

That’s what grownups do.

Shortly after arriving in Florida, while in the shower; I noticed for the first time, the flesh starting to open on both of my inner thighs.

Holy fuck… The whore gave me herpes and crabs!?!?!!

I wanted to end my life, how could this be happening to me? Why does this hurt so bad?
Working in the heat severely wounded was horrible, it didn’t take long before other areas of my body joined the party.

That was 20 years ago, I was just diagnosed with Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS) today. I never had HSV-2. I did have crabs, but those could have come from couch surfing for all I know.

 

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